Week after week, a couple will sit in my office with the same story. They look at me with exhausted and frustrated eyes and say… "We are not IN LOVE anymore."
I smile and respond, "I can help...START LOVING each other!"
They look confused and respond, "I don't think you understand, we are not IN LOVE." I smile and reply, "I don't think you understand, Love is not a noun... it is VERB! Love is not something you fall into (like a pool) or out of (like a chair). That is LUST. Love is something you CHOOSE each day."
This world tells us that Love is a place that you magically find. It is not. That is a LifeTime movie. Love is a choice you make each day! Some days are harder than others and some days it is easy because we "feel it," but make no mistake… a love that lasts is built on choosing to love regardless of circumstances or feelings.
Jesus said, "A new command I give you, "Love one another." Look.. that is a verb. That is an action. That is a choice and I believe it is the foundation to building a marriage that lasts and is full of LOVE.
Our culture has confused Love with Lust. Lust, like all sin, is rooted and built on selfish feelings & desires. Lust tells you…
"This is what you really want!"
"This is what will really satisfy you!"
"This is what is really true!"
"This is what will complete you!"
Lust promises to deliver what your heart wants most… Love. For a while those feelings are a great mask and seems to deliver… but it is not love. Soon, those feelings fade and leave you looking for someone or something else to fill your desires, passions, and feelings.
Sin never delivers on its promises. Lust will never fill your heart. It leaves you and everyone around you hurt, lonely, & empty.
The world says marriage is built on chemistry, feelings, and emotion and when you "Lose that loving feeling," it is time to look for someone or something else that will fill you up! That is LUST. It is not LOVE.
CHEMISTRY doesn't build a loving marriage or keep it strong.. that is determined by CHARACTER.
Today, you must choose to love even in those moments when you don't "feel like it." That is how a marriage lasts! That is how a marriage that is strong! That is how a marriage remains passionate!
To LOVE someone means… you go first. Your needs, wants, dreams, time, and heart… come before mine. Wow! That is the opposite of LUST which demands it's own selfish way.
You will be amazed the deep love, more than the surface feelings, that develops as you choose to love each day. It is not easy. You must choose to love over and over again but it is worth it! REAL LOVE is worth fighting for!
Remember, Jesus never asks us to live out something he didn't model…
"Love one another. AS I HAVE LOVED YOU, so you must love one another."